Can God continue to bless our family as He has for us since we moved to Maryland? Don’t worry - this is not a political blog posting. This is an account for how God truly answered prayer and blessed us over and above what me or my family "...could ask or think" (Ephesians 3:20)
In 2003 my family moved from Russellville, AR to Waldorf, MD to pastor a church. Arkansas was my home state – having been born and raised in North Little Rock with summers spent on my grandparent’s farms in Faulkner County. Though I would miss everything I knew and loved and the friends back in the Razorback state, I knew God was calling us to Waldorf and the plus side for my wife was that for the first time in twelve years of marriage she would be close to her home town in Delaware – only two hours from home verses twenty.
When Robin and I were first engaged, I met her parents for the first time and in the same weekend I would ask her dad’s permission to marry me – what a shocker for them huh? Me being from the south – a head to toe redneck and Robin’s picture in the dictionary next to the word "Yankee" – one would think that would be enough culture shock for one life time. Her parents – when I met them for the first time – lived in a town-house. I told my – then – fiancé, that being married to a yankee would mean a lot of changes in my life – but one thing I will never do is live in a town-house. Have you seen these things? Two or three story apartments are about what they amount to – A living room and kitchen (both small) on one level, two or three bedrooms on the upper level, and if yours is a NICE one – a basement to make into whatever you need it to be.
Twelve years later I learned a valuable lesson that I should have learned long before: "Never say never" (I once stated I would "never live west of Arkansas," and spent ten years in Oklahoma – not a bad penance…I mean calling. We actually miss OK every now and again). The first house we purchased in Maryland we rented – a plan for our first year, and then to purchase – took four months to find while I lived with church members. Our first house – you guessed it – a Town-house. However, as town-homes go – I must say ours was quite nice – a blessing that was hard to count at times – but must be counted. The basement was both a playroom and my office. When I needed quiet office and study time – it didn’t get any quieter than that basement. There are times now that I find myself missing the town-house, but not so much that I would consider moving back to it. That just shows me how God blesses in the midst of what I might otherwise think "I’m making do" for now. If you don’t know what "making do" is – then you must be from the north.
Our year was up on our town-home lease. The property manager would not sign us for a month – to – month lease until we found a home. It was difficult to find anything in Charles County that was either in our price range – or big enough for our family. Two months prior to our lease being up we worked diligently with our realtor, looking for a suburban home in a decent neighborhood that fell within our ability to pay.
The deadline came and we had to move out of the townhouse. Now we were homeless (for all intents and purposes). Homeless out of our house, out of our respective states (Arkansas and Delaware) and had it not been for the good nature of a church family with a Fifth Wheel camper, who knows where we would have ended up.
Those who know me well know that my dream is to live in an RV during retirement – and this fifth wheel was nice. It had the slide out living room, nice large master bedroom and as far as camping is concerned, we couldn’t have asked for nicer. We actually had fun in that camper for the first week – me and my wife and two kids. With all of our possessions in storage – again – we tripped over each other, had sleepless nights listening to the traffic pass through the thin camper walls and feeling every movement as the camper shook and rocked when someone turned over in the bed. The second week was wearing on our nerves and by the time the fourth week rolled around – not only were we pulling our hair out – but I think our church members were wanting us to go….as their privacy too had been invaded by our two children upon their invitation to enter their home 24/7 as we pleased. Graciousness and congeniatlities only go so far when you live thick as thieves and you begin to appreciate more fully your privacy and space.
After four weeks of searching to no avail for an affordable housing situation it was time to take the church kids to youth camp. I must admit, I was looking forward to the get-a-way from the RV to go off to somewhere in Pennsylvania I had never been before, leaving Robin and our youngest child behind while I took our oldest to camp. While at camp, I was listening to the camp Evangelist for the week – Ken Cash of North Carolina – and something he said in his message rang a bell. For the first time in six months I had suddenly realized that I had not prayed about our family finding a house. It’s not that I hadn’t prayed in six months – I just hadn’t prayed asking the Lord to help us find a house. We had gone through all of the steps that a person goes through when buying a house. We obtained a realtor, let him do his job, we did our job in looking through magazines, internet, and driving around neighborhoods. We followed all the steps – but what I didn’t realize is that we had actually left God out of the process. Imagine, me a Preacher...a pastor...telling people... young married couples...to "make God the center of your families and you’ll have a successful marriage" and I had forgotten to do just that. So during the invitation that night I made an appointment with God – after I asked His forgiveness. I promised the Lord: "In the morning – I will spend as long as it takes until I have peace about this housing dilemma."
The next morning came. I told the other counselor that went with me that I would not be available for the morning and asked if he minded being with the kids and I would re-join as soon as I could. He agreed and after breakfast – instead of going to the scheduled events with our kids, I stayed in the cabin. Not knowing how to face God – due to the embarrassment I felt – I simply opened up to the book of James – where the camp evangelist had been teaching from that week – and read a chapter or two – or three - OK, I read the entire book. Then I began to pray. My spirit flooded with sorrow, and I began to cry on God’s shoulders. I apologized for neglecting Him and His involvement in our house search. I began to complain to Him of how tired we were of looking for a house and how cramped that fifth wheel was.
I was reminded of how I found myself depending on Him most of my life and certainly most of my married life. Once before, twelve years prior, I had spent most of a night on my knees telling God I couldn’t provide for my newly-wedded wife, who had cried herself to sleep that night because we didn’t have enough money for groceries. I reminded God of his own words "I have come that you might have life and that you might have it more abundantly" (John 10:10b) and proceeded to tell Him that the life we were living was not one of abundance, but of poverty, stress, and worry. It was that night that the Holy Spirit spoke to me as clearly as my wife had only a few hours before. Certainly it wasn’t an audible voice, but when the Holy Spirit speaks to your inner soul, there is no question for the child of God as to the Source. The Lord basically told me to let go of my problems and give them to Him. At that moment, I realized that I had been trying to run my own life. I was trying to work out my own problems by working two jobs to make ends meet, looking for other odd jobs and sources of financial assistance, not to mention enough energy expenditure in worry and stress to power a small city. Not knowing what else to do or where to turn – I went to God. Why is it that we always wait until the darkest hours of our lives to consider God? I realized in that night of prayer that I had been working the gears and the machinery of my life instead of allowing God to manage the mechanics.
When I was young I remember my Pastor saying more than once that "Without God you couldn’t wake up in the morning. Without God you couldn’t take a breath. Without God you couldn’t even wiggle your fingers or your toes." With that in mind – the first vocal album I recorded in 1995 – I insisted on the song "I Can’t Even Walk Without You Holding My Hand." God reminded me of that message from Pastor Scott and in that reminding I realized that I can’t even provide for my family without His help. I told the Lord in a recalcitrant resonance that I was giving my problem to Him for Him to handle and that I fully placed my trust in His ability to provide for our need. During that next week, I went to the mailbox. There was an envelope with our name written on it – no address, no stamp, no post-mark, and no return address. I opened the envelope to find $150 in cash. In 1991, that bought a lot of groceries and if memory serves, money left over.
In 2003 my family moved from Russellville, AR to Waldorf, MD to pastor a church. Arkansas was my home state – having been born and raised in North Little Rock with summers spent on my grandparent’s farms in Faulkner County. Though I would miss everything I knew and loved and the friends back in the Razorback state, I knew God was calling us to Waldorf and the plus side for my wife was that for the first time in twelve years of marriage she would be close to her home town in Delaware – only two hours from home verses twenty.
When Robin and I were first engaged, I met her parents for the first time and in the same weekend I would ask her dad’s permission to marry me – what a shocker for them huh? Me being from the south – a head to toe redneck and Robin’s picture in the dictionary next to the word "Yankee" – one would think that would be enough culture shock for one life time. Her parents – when I met them for the first time – lived in a town-house. I told my – then – fiancé, that being married to a yankee would mean a lot of changes in my life – but one thing I will never do is live in a town-house. Have you seen these things? Two or three story apartments are about what they amount to – A living room and kitchen (both small) on one level, two or three bedrooms on the upper level, and if yours is a NICE one – a basement to make into whatever you need it to be.
Twelve years later I learned a valuable lesson that I should have learned long before: "Never say never" (I once stated I would "never live west of Arkansas," and spent ten years in Oklahoma – not a bad penance…I mean calling. We actually miss OK every now and again). The first house we purchased in Maryland we rented – a plan for our first year, and then to purchase – took four months to find while I lived with church members. Our first house – you guessed it – a Town-house. However, as town-homes go – I must say ours was quite nice – a blessing that was hard to count at times – but must be counted. The basement was both a playroom and my office. When I needed quiet office and study time – it didn’t get any quieter than that basement. There are times now that I find myself missing the town-house, but not so much that I would consider moving back to it. That just shows me how God blesses in the midst of what I might otherwise think "I’m making do" for now. If you don’t know what "making do" is – then you must be from the north.
Our year was up on our town-home lease. The property manager would not sign us for a month – to – month lease until we found a home. It was difficult to find anything in Charles County that was either in our price range – or big enough for our family. Two months prior to our lease being up we worked diligently with our realtor, looking for a suburban home in a decent neighborhood that fell within our ability to pay.
The deadline came and we had to move out of the townhouse. Now we were homeless (for all intents and purposes). Homeless out of our house, out of our respective states (Arkansas and Delaware) and had it not been for the good nature of a church family with a Fifth Wheel camper, who knows where we would have ended up.
Those who know me well know that my dream is to live in an RV during retirement – and this fifth wheel was nice. It had the slide out living room, nice large master bedroom and as far as camping is concerned, we couldn’t have asked for nicer. We actually had fun in that camper for the first week – me and my wife and two kids. With all of our possessions in storage – again – we tripped over each other, had sleepless nights listening to the traffic pass through the thin camper walls and feeling every movement as the camper shook and rocked when someone turned over in the bed. The second week was wearing on our nerves and by the time the fourth week rolled around – not only were we pulling our hair out – but I think our church members were wanting us to go….as their privacy too had been invaded by our two children upon their invitation to enter their home 24/7 as we pleased. Graciousness and congeniatlities only go so far when you live thick as thieves and you begin to appreciate more fully your privacy and space.
After four weeks of searching to no avail for an affordable housing situation it was time to take the church kids to youth camp. I must admit, I was looking forward to the get-a-way from the RV to go off to somewhere in Pennsylvania I had never been before, leaving Robin and our youngest child behind while I took our oldest to camp. While at camp, I was listening to the camp Evangelist for the week – Ken Cash of North Carolina – and something he said in his message rang a bell. For the first time in six months I had suddenly realized that I had not prayed about our family finding a house. It’s not that I hadn’t prayed in six months – I just hadn’t prayed asking the Lord to help us find a house. We had gone through all of the steps that a person goes through when buying a house. We obtained a realtor, let him do his job, we did our job in looking through magazines, internet, and driving around neighborhoods. We followed all the steps – but what I didn’t realize is that we had actually left God out of the process. Imagine, me a Preacher...a pastor...telling people... young married couples...to "make God the center of your families and you’ll have a successful marriage" and I had forgotten to do just that. So during the invitation that night I made an appointment with God – after I asked His forgiveness. I promised the Lord: "In the morning – I will spend as long as it takes until I have peace about this housing dilemma."
The next morning came. I told the other counselor that went with me that I would not be available for the morning and asked if he minded being with the kids and I would re-join as soon as I could. He agreed and after breakfast – instead of going to the scheduled events with our kids, I stayed in the cabin. Not knowing how to face God – due to the embarrassment I felt – I simply opened up to the book of James – where the camp evangelist had been teaching from that week – and read a chapter or two – or three - OK, I read the entire book. Then I began to pray. My spirit flooded with sorrow, and I began to cry on God’s shoulders. I apologized for neglecting Him and His involvement in our house search. I began to complain to Him of how tired we were of looking for a house and how cramped that fifth wheel was.
I was reminded of how I found myself depending on Him most of my life and certainly most of my married life. Once before, twelve years prior, I had spent most of a night on my knees telling God I couldn’t provide for my newly-wedded wife, who had cried herself to sleep that night because we didn’t have enough money for groceries. I reminded God of his own words "I have come that you might have life and that you might have it more abundantly" (John 10:10b) and proceeded to tell Him that the life we were living was not one of abundance, but of poverty, stress, and worry. It was that night that the Holy Spirit spoke to me as clearly as my wife had only a few hours before. Certainly it wasn’t an audible voice, but when the Holy Spirit speaks to your inner soul, there is no question for the child of God as to the Source. The Lord basically told me to let go of my problems and give them to Him. At that moment, I realized that I had been trying to run my own life. I was trying to work out my own problems by working two jobs to make ends meet, looking for other odd jobs and sources of financial assistance, not to mention enough energy expenditure in worry and stress to power a small city. Not knowing what else to do or where to turn – I went to God. Why is it that we always wait until the darkest hours of our lives to consider God? I realized in that night of prayer that I had been working the gears and the machinery of my life instead of allowing God to manage the mechanics.
When I was young I remember my Pastor saying more than once that "Without God you couldn’t wake up in the morning. Without God you couldn’t take a breath. Without God you couldn’t even wiggle your fingers or your toes." With that in mind – the first vocal album I recorded in 1995 – I insisted on the song "I Can’t Even Walk Without You Holding My Hand." God reminded me of that message from Pastor Scott and in that reminding I realized that I can’t even provide for my family without His help. I told the Lord in a recalcitrant resonance that I was giving my problem to Him for Him to handle and that I fully placed my trust in His ability to provide for our need. During that next week, I went to the mailbox. There was an envelope with our name written on it – no address, no stamp, no post-mark, and no return address. I opened the envelope to find $150 in cash. In 1991, that bought a lot of groceries and if memory serves, money left over.
And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might beForward the video twelve years. I find myself again praying a similar prayer. Not about groceries, but about a roof over my family’s head, now having two children. Alone in a Youth Camp Cabin in the strange land of Amish country Pennsylvania (strange to this Arkansas boy – having never been further north than Louisville, KY) I once again turned my problem over to the Lord. I apologized for not having included Him in the search and process of finding a house. By the end of my prayer I had felt a strong sense of peace come over me and I just wept in the presence of God and enjoyed His fellowship.
filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding
abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh
in us, Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages,
world without end. Amen. Ephesians 3:19-21
The rest of the day seemed brighter as it usually does when you spend quality time with the Lord. I seemed to enjoy the kids more. The entire day my mind was on that morning and the peace was noticeably prominent in my spirit. I didn’t question it; rather I simply relished it, not realizing what I was about to experience that evening.
After the evening service and the night activities were in motion at the camp my cell phone rang. It was Robin. She usually let me call her since I was at Camp and she didn’t know what my schedule was, but she had called me. We had the usual "how are you" conversation then the ominous utterance: "I have something to tell you."
That’s usually not a good thing, so I nervously responded, "what is it?" not knowing what to expect next.
Robin said "I think I found us a house."
I could literally feel the hair raising up on the back of my neck. I had just prayed that morning – for the first time in six months of looking – I had asked God’s forgiveness for neglecting Him in the search process – and asked the Lord to help us. Only nine hours later – after looking for six months – my wife found a house? My mind was racing with these thoughts and others within seconds of my wife telling me this news.
"Tell me about the house" I said to Robin.
"It’s on 7 acres…"
"What??" I interrupted. I know the properties we had seen and researched.
There was nothing in Charles County, Maryland that fit our financial budget and now she’s going to tell me she found a house on seven acres? She had lost her mind – we will never be able to afford that. I then asked "Is this within our budget?" and she stated yes and told me the list price of the property.
"Robin, seven acres, within our budget – what is wrong with the house?"
She said – "there is nothing wrong with the house, it’s in good shape, it’s solid, the realtor said it was more solidly built than the suburban homes we had been looking at. There is just one problem though…"
Today I can quote the words of Jesus "…O ye of little faith" (Matthew 6:30) but that night I was thinking this can’t be true, something is wrong with this house and she is not telling me everything. However, I was also beginning to realize - - "This is the house that God has answered my prayer with – the one I just prayed this morning." At that moment in my thinking while Robin was describing the physical aspects of the house it occurred to me – "this is our house. This is the house God has provided us…I know it because we had searched for six months and this is not just a coincidence. I began to shake, and pace, my spine was tingling, my hair was standing, God was telling me – "stop questioning and accept this answer to prayer."
Robin’s words began to come to the forefront of my mind just then as I heard her say "…one thing that might be a problem…"
I said "What is that?" – while thinking to myself – "nothings a problem at this point – this is our house that God has given us."
I could literally feel the hair raising up on the back of my neck. I had just prayed that morning – for the first time in six months of looking – I had asked God’s forgiveness for neglecting Him in the search process – and asked the Lord to help us. Only nine hours later – after looking for six months – my wife found a house? My mind was racing with these thoughts and others within seconds of my wife telling me this news.
"Tell me about the house" I said to Robin.
"It’s on 7 acres…"
"What??" I interrupted. I know the properties we had seen and researched.
There was nothing in Charles County, Maryland that fit our financial budget and now she’s going to tell me she found a house on seven acres? She had lost her mind – we will never be able to afford that. I then asked "Is this within our budget?" and she stated yes and told me the list price of the property.
"Robin, seven acres, within our budget – what is wrong with the house?"
She said – "there is nothing wrong with the house, it’s in good shape, it’s solid, the realtor said it was more solidly built than the suburban homes we had been looking at. There is just one problem though…"
Today I can quote the words of Jesus "…O ye of little faith" (Matthew 6:30) but that night I was thinking this can’t be true, something is wrong with this house and she is not telling me everything. However, I was also beginning to realize - - "This is the house that God has answered my prayer with – the one I just prayed this morning." At that moment in my thinking while Robin was describing the physical aspects of the house it occurred to me – "this is our house. This is the house God has provided us…I know it because we had searched for six months and this is not just a coincidence. I began to shake, and pace, my spine was tingling, my hair was standing, God was telling me – "stop questioning and accept this answer to prayer."
Robin’s words began to come to the forefront of my mind just then as I heard her say "…one thing that might be a problem…"
I said "What is that?" – while thinking to myself – "nothings a problem at this point – this is our house that God has given us."
She stated "The house is kind of small."
My response after a quick sigh of relief…."Is it bigger than the fifth wheel we’re living in?"
She laughed and answered "Yes, a little bigger – it’s only 900 square feet."
Of course I had no idea what 900 square feet was I just said – "it’s bigger than the fifth wheel – its big enough for me."
I didn’t tell her about my prayer time with the Lord during this conversation – I was still embarrassed as I know my wife had been praying. I just told Robin…"I know this is the house, go sign the contract tomorrow."
"But you haven’t seen it" she answered.
"I don’t need to see it, I know this is the house and I can’t tell you how I know right now – but trust me on this one. You’ve seen it, you like it, I don’t need to see it because I believe the Lord is in this…I will fax you over a Power of Attorney first thing in the morning so you can start the paperwork."
She said "You’re going to buy a house – sight unseen?"
While trying to hold back the tears and shouting I answered – "I wouldn’t buy just ANY house sight unseen, but I’m not questioning God on this one. I don’t need to see it. He saw this house before you or I and I’m telling you all I can tell you right now – this is our house."
She said "OK???" with a question mark in her tone. "I’ll take care of it…"
As soon as she hung up – I walked as fast as I could back to the cabin where I had talked to God earlier that morning – got back down on my knees and thanked Him for such a speedy reply and how I recognized fully that His hand was in this house and I would always give Him glory and credit for our owning it.
There is so much more I could tell about our house that God has blessed us with. I do realize now – quite fully in fact – what 900 square feet looks like. It is bigger than a fifth wheel – but not by much. But I haven’t complained once – and not a single day goes by that I don’t look out of my bedroom window or off my back deck, out into the back field watching a six point buck chase a doe in the spring time and remember the spiritual lesson I learned (3 years ago at this writing) about trusting God for all of our provisions.
"Wherefore if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall He not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? … for your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:30-33
"I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD." I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust— there may yet be hope." Lamentations 3:17-29
You can see our Blessing from God on my myspace. I have pictures and video: www.myspace.com/pastormikephillips
